The past week has been…rough. My grandmother has pancreatic cancer and decided to discontinue chemo. After discovering that the hospice nurse was not there to euthanize her, she changed her mind about allowing my sister and I to see her. So, it seems my mother, sister and I will be temporarily re-locating to Florida. Everything is very up in the air…we don’t know when we’re leaving, or when we’ll be back.
Stupid things I’m anxious about:
- Finding someone to sub for me at work.
- Falling behind on grad school apps.
- Having to postpone treatment for my (brand new!) sleep apnea.
Obviously these little things don’t even scratch the surface of the sadness and anxiety I feel for my grandmother. She and my grandfather essentially raised me until I was 5, so it feels more like I’m losing my mother than a grandparent. But, I’ve been doing my best to keep busy, and stay out of the house when the sadness is too much.
Perhaps consequently, I’ve been spending more time with The Boy and his family for the past week or so. They’ve been such a comfort, and I feel so blessed to have such amazing people in my life. Part of me was always a little afraid that they only liked me because I was dating their son/brother/uncle/cousin, but since the breakup they’ve continued to be as welcoming and wonderful as the day I met them. I really cannot say enough good things about this family.
So lovely readers, how do you deal with worry?
Mahesha said:
I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother…
well meditation always works for me with anxiety and all kinds of worry… yoga helps too…I guess if I try yoga every time I worry about something I would look like a model 🙂
I really hope for things to get better for you…
semisweetshiksa said:
Thanks Mahesha. There’s actually a really nice yoga studio a few blocks from my grandparents. I’ll ask my aunt if she’ll sign up for a class with me…it seems like a constructive way to deal with stress.
Tori said:
I’m sorry about your grandma 😦 My grandma had a stroke last summer and went into a hospice, where she later passed away. It was the hardest two weeks of my life, and there is probably nothing in the world that will alleviate the anxiety you’re feeling right now. It unfortunately just comes with the territory. All you can do is be there for your family (especially your grandma) during this time. Though it feels impossible to emotionally support other people at this point, just being there to go through this situation with them will be a huge source of comfort.
semisweetshiksa said:
Oh, Tori thank you so much. I’m so sorry about your grandma. I’m doing my best to focus on enjoying the time I have left with my grandmother, and being strong for my grandfather.